Buubuu_Ubuu's Xanga

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 11:58:18 GMT

I just got through one of the most demanding months I've had in a long, long time, but at least it's over for now.

In other news, this kid gave me a good laugh. Poor kid.

Funny letter on Digg.com

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 22:03:58 GMT

If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year.

Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.

Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.

Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 05:15:53 GMT

Intense Sept. 11 article. New sound bites.

http://www.vanityfair.com/features/general/060801fege01

It's a long article but worth your time.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 03:24:27 GMT

Crazy Japanese Prank

http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Insane-Japanese-Pranks.html

ROFLMAO

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 18:52:14 GMT

Do you know what I hate most about soccer? BS like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8kBE8Hny7M&feature=Views&page=1&t=t&f=b

Please, just play the game.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 15:35:18 GMT

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5434687

There's this new ringtone that's apparently "adult-proof." Supposedly, most over 30 can't hear it. Listen to it here: http://download.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/atc/atc_teenbuzz.mp3

All I can say is that I can hear and it makes me want to hurt someone. Anger Rising... RISING...

So yeah, how many of you old fogies over 30 can't hear this?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 11:08:38 GMT

Windex, Drain-O, Lysol, Comet, Vacuum + 1 million Paper Towels + 4 Days = Clean Apartment + Raw Hands

Next time I do this I'm getting some bloody latex gloves. My hands haven't felt this crappy in all my life. I also dumped water on a pile of Comet and ate a Comet dust cloud. Comet is a poison, so if I go crazy and drop dead in the next couple of days you'll know why. Other than that it was an awesome four days of cleaning. Not really.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 19:00:52 GMT

Mark your calendar!!!

On Wednesday at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the
morning, the time and date will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06.

That will never happen again.

You may now return to your normal stuff.

Dear Helpdesk support

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 15:13:21 GMT

Been a while since I last saw this joke, but it's still hilarious:

Dear Helpdesk support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0
in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking of rolling back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 or to roll back to Girlfriend
7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from
the system once installed.

You cannot roll back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Helpdesk Support

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 04:52:16 GMT

2 Fast 2 Furious = $150+

So the other day I got my first ever speeding ticket. I was going down the interstate at an easy 90 mph when I noticed some sirens and lights behind me. Interesting. Wonder if those cruisers really have nitro? Put the pedal to the metal and cranked the car up to 135. One cruiser became three which then became five. I gave them the run around for about 30 minutes when... yeah, yeah, yeah, who am I trying to kid? I got caught going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone. The cop sounded pretty pissed about it too.